So, after a while of restricting my old friend Mia has decided to join me today. I felt her coming on last night and today I just crumbled, didn't have the strength to fight her. So I binged and purged for lunch and dinner and now I'm just feeling horrible. This is what Mia does to me. But at least purging is still no effort whatsoever, even after all those years without purging I can still just lean forward and throw up without even having to stick my fingers down my throat or anything like that. So at least it's not physically painful. I guess I ought to be grateful for those little favours, right?
Other than that I'm considering painting again. A verse from one of the psalms has been resonating with me for a bit now and I feel that putting it into something a little more tangible like a painting might be sort of therapeutic. Well, maybe I'll get a canvas during the next days and start expressing the darkness that's inside of me, who knows.
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