Out of control

I really really want to eat. I think about food so much, I've even taken to watching food videos online (might be triggering for some, I know, but somehow it's really satisfying for me atm) but whenever I open the fridge I just can't eat. I've been craving cheese for a few days now and we've got plenty in the fridge. I take it out and look at it and then put it back - not because I'm so wonderfully in control but because I'm so incredibly out of control. Every now and then I decide to eat, either because I'm not alone and it cannot be avoided or because I'm sane and realise it's the only sensible thing to do when I'm about to faint. But I can't eat. I simply can't, even though I actually might want to. I managed to eat plain lettuce but today I couldn't get myself to eat anything else. Whenever I'm with company I just munch on a tiny bit of food forever and push around anything else on my plate. So far I've got away with this but I'm not sure for how much longer this can go on.
Last night at mass I actually fainted (managed to sit down just in time and then had to wait for my hearing and vision to return for quite a bit) but I still find it impossible to eat. It feels like it's completely out of my control. This is so scary.