Thoughts at night

Is it really possible to love oneself?

Whenever I look at myself all I can see is fatty, flabby bits - my thighs, my stomach, my calves, my upper arms, my breasts, my back... I wish I could be thin and skinny. And even more, I wish I could be thin and skinny and know and see that I am thin and skinny. But I am not and so I am disgusted by the looks of myself.

I wish I could sleep throught the rest of my life so that I wouldn't have to look at myself and hate myself anymore. I wish I could just die and all would be over.

But God won't let my die and so I'll have to live.