I'm definitely bulimic - I've been eating and throwing up so much over the past few months that there's no way I could continue to pretend that I'm not bulimic. It's not exactly easy to admit this, though. I hope that I'm going to go into another anorexic phase soon as I find it much easier to cope with not eating than with binging and purging. I hate myself for eating and I hate myself for throwing up, I have lost whatever control I thought I had, and nothing seems to work to stop me. I loathe my body, I despise myself for completely and utterly lacking any self-discipline, and I hate the fact that I can't just let it all go and love myself the way I am. I feel like I want to die but I can't even muster the strength to starve myself to death. Not that it's really an option anyway. :(