I found this online community of people with EDs. They are really supportive (in a good way - they don't encourage anything seriously mad or suicidal but care very much about each other) so I decided to join them. I'm not sure if this is a very wise decision since if could be triggering but for now it's just what I need - people to whom I can talk and who really and truly understand me. The site is actually part of the pro-ana movement (pro-ana doesn't mean promoting anorexia or thinking it's a good thing, but rather support for those who have it and helping them to find a way of living with it as well and healthily as is possible) which I used to dislike but find more and more helpful as I find out more about it. Yes, it's not really helping people to get better but it is helping them to not get worse and come to terms with how their life is instead of how it could be. This is a lot when it comes to EDs if you ask me.