I've decided to eat today. So far I had a slice of cheese cake and I am also planning to have something tonight at the graduation ceremony. I know, it's not very much but it's a whole lot more than I had over the last couple of weeks. I'm feeling terribly full right now from the cheese cake but I'll try and bear it. Puking isn't really a good thing to do and today I hope I have the strength to not do it even though I feel I already ate too much.
God seems to be very distant these days. The funny thing is I don't feel like I'm losing faith at all, I believe as strongly as I ever have. But I feel like I'm moving away from God, I can't really pray anymore, yet I still go to mass and I don't feel I'm a hypocrit for going. I need God but somehow I don't seem to be able to ask Him for help. Maybe I should go to confession about this.
Two days ago I talked to my sister about our adolescence and all I could think is 'I wouldn't want to go back there for all the money in the world yet it seems to be exactly where I am right now'...